


Calm and Reposed

by gwendystacy



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: F/M, tw: paralyzed character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 11:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4135971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendystacy/pseuds/gwendystacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Green Goblin throws Gwen Stacy off the George Washington Bridge, Peter barely catches her. Their lives are turned upside down as Gwen tries to lead a normal life paralyzed from the waist down. Gwen Stacy was supposed to have died, or at least that's how she feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Konstantine

Peter carefully puled the girl towards him. "Spider powers, I love you!" He shouted. "Not only am I the most dashing hero on two legs I'm also the most versatile. Who else could have saved a falling girl from certain dea-." He paused to look at the motionless girl. "Gwen?" Why wasn't she moving? He had saved her. "Hey kid— what's wrong? I saved you— you can't be!" Peter stroked her face with his left hand. He clenched his jaw trying to avoid tears from forming. "No!" He said barely above a whisper. "Oh no, no, no no." Peter pulled her body closer to his, rocking her back and forth. "Don't be dead Gwen. I don't want you to be dead." He ignored the crowd that had started to form around the two of them. He didn't want to think about how many of them were video taping, or how many recognized Gwen as the late New York Police captains daughter.

He slowly broke out of his trance enough to yell for someone to 911. Panic and nausea hit him quickly, and he couldn't breathe. He needed to get away from the crowd, he needed to get out of his Spiderman suit. He needed Gwen to be there to tell him what to do. He held Gwen until the paramedics arrived and tried to stay close. A paramedic announced he had found a heart beat before they put her onto a stretcher carefully, placing a brace around her neck. Peter considers trying to ride in the ambulance, but quickly realizes the Stacy Family needs Peter, not Spiderman.

The Green Goblin had gotten away by now, but it didn't concern. Right now being with Gwen and her family was more important than revenge. He needed to be there when Gwen woke up. Because she was going to wake up. She had to. He noticed a call coming from Gwen's oldest brother while putting his shirt on. "Hey Howard."

"Are you on your way Peter?" Howard asks through a croaky voice. Howard had found out about Spiderman when he had been staying with Gwen and Peter for a weekend and saw Spiderman's suit in a drawer. Peter believed Howard had known before then because he wasn't shocked at all.

"I couldn't save her Howard. I couldn't." Peter whispers to the phone almost hoping he isn't heard.

"Peter, it's going to be fine. It has to be. Just come to the hospital, Mom wants you here. Gwen would want you.."

"I'm on my way."

The hospital smells like old urine, and cleaning supplies. The smell makes Peter's nose curl, and he wonders around until he finds a nurse to take him to the remaining Stacy's. Howard hugs Peter, and Ms. Stacy halfway smiles at him. Peter and Gwen had been living together for almost 7 months, and even though she was unsure at first, Ms. Stacy- or Helen as she had told him to call her, had came to be on good terms with Peter. A doctor come's to the waiting room two hours later and announces that Gwen is out of sugary. She then asks to speak with Ms. Stacy alone. Thirty minutes go by before they return. Peter doesn't actually see them return, he's playing Uno with the Stacy boys when Ms. Stacy walks in. "Peter." She announces softly. "Would you mind walking with me to the cafeteria?"

"Of course not Ms. Stacy." He replies, and knows somethings wrong when she doesn't tell him to call her Helen. They're halfway to the cafeteria when she stops to look out the window. Peter's never noticed how much her and Gwen look alike. They even share the same face when they're upset. Peter doesn't say anything, only wraps an arm around her shoulder.

"They say she's going to wake up." Ms. Stacy says and turns to Peter. "But there are some concerns on when." She stops to take a jagged breath. "Gwen has a spinal chord injury, and it would take a very strong act of God for her to be able to walk."


	2. Sleep

Spiderman hasn't been out since the accident, a lot of people say it's because he killed a girl, but the truth is Peter's been at the hospital every minute he's not in school. He stays there constantly, and feels responsible for Gwen. His webbing is what caused her whiplash, his webbing could cost her her life. Peter tries to not think about her not waking up. Instead he focus on what he'll say when she wakes up. He doesn't want to overwhelm her, but he knows now he needs to make it very clear how much he loves her. He even buys a ring, but knows it will be awhile before he could give it to her.

When Peter does leave the hospital he stays at his Aunt Mays, usually in her bed like he did when he was a little boy. It's different now he's too big to let Aunt May take him in her arms and keep the monsters out. It's different without Uncle Ben coming back and saying he told the thing under his bed to leave, and Aunt May saying he can stay there anyway. He's pretty sure it's different for Aunt May too. He wonders if she feels as empty not sleeping next to Uncle Ben as he does not sleeping next to Gwen.

Peter has a hard time returning to their apartment. He usually come's when he's at school to grab books or a project, then leave immediately. There's a ghost of Gwen Stacy there and he can't bear the weight of it. One rainy day, when ESU's library is closed Peter has to finish a project at the apartment. The project takes longer than he planned, and Peter decides that maybe he could stay at their apartment for the night. He's sure he'll be fine. Everything's almost okay, that is until he goes to bed and turns to kiss Gwen goodnight. He tosses and turns for hours and finally makes it asleed, curled into the side of Gwen's pillow.

When he wakes up there's barely any sunlight out. He makes breakfast for two, watches the cartoons that Gwen secretly likes to watch in the morning, pulls the sports from the newspaper for her. He misses Gwen in everything he does, but being at their home makes doing things almost impossible. He misses her when he's doing the dishes and she's not their to dry them, he misses her when he pulls the blanket from the back of the couch and she doesn't slide her feet under it, he misses her when he get's in the shower and her hand doesn't sneak in to turn it on cold when he's not looking.

As time moves forward the Stacy's spend less and less time at the hospital, returning to school and work. Peter does the same. He spends time working on school, and taking picture's. Aunt May starts making dinner again, instead of frozen food. On a particularly sunny day she tells Peter she's been seeing someone. He chokes a little on his cereal and asks if she's serious. It's not that he doesn't believe her, he know's she's absolutely beautiful on the inside and out, it's just hard to hear. He wonders if Gwen doesn't wake up would he ever be able to love anyone else? He quickly scolds himself for even thinking that. Gwen's going to wake up.

After that he starts spending more time with her again. He'll sit in a chair next to her, sometime's he'll tell her how his day went. Sometime's he reads, always out loud. Sometime's he'll just put on their favorite movies and watch them. After a month and a half of Gwen being gone Peter starts to get picky. It's over weird things too. Like if a nurse doesn't use the vanilla shampoo he brought from their apartment, or if he felt like they weren't flipping her enough and that she'd get bed sores. Aunt May comes to the hospital to retrieve Peter on a Tuesday, because even though he can't see that he's slipping away from reality, she can.

Aunt May wakes Peter up early on a Saturday morning and asks for him to go with her to Ben's grave. Peter visits the graveyard often with Gwen to see her dad, but Aunt May's never asked him to go with her. They stop on the way to eat at a diner that reminds Peter of the times he ate there with Uncle Ben before going to baseball games. Aunt May doesn't talk much, but she does ask how Gwen is. "She's doing better," Peter says calmly. "Her neck is realigning well. That's what the say anyway. It's just her spinal cord now."

"I'll have to come by and see her sometime."

"You don't have to. It's not very hopeful looking." Peter says thinking of Gwen's pasty face, and how noticeable her bones are.

"I want to. For you, and for her."

After Peter forces Aunt May to let him pay for breakfast, the get a cab. She tells the cab driver the address of the cemetery and stays quiet for the rest of the ride. She leads the way to Ben Parker's grave. The two remaining members of the Parker family stand in silence. Peter places his arm around Aunt May and she steps away from him. "I want you to meet the man I've been seeing." She says. Peter can't help but wonder why she chose her of all places to talk about this. It's been years since Uncle Ben was killed, but it still felt like a fresh wound.

"Okay." He says softly.

"He has a son about your age. We should all have dinner one night."

"Yeah." He says stopping to think about it. "We should. We defiantly should."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are greatly appreciated:)


	3. Dark Blue

"Peter! Peter Parker!" A voice calls out of the crowd of ESU's student. Peter slumps his shoulders more than usual and tries to walk faster. "Peter! Wait!" He know's that voice. A hand grasps his shoulder and the person lets out a sigh of relief. "Damn, Pete. You know not all of us are as fit as you right?"

"Harry." Peter nods at him.

"You haven't been answering my phone calls."

"Sorry, uh, I've been busy with schoolwork and.. things." Peter tries to think of a good lie.

"No you haven't." Harry says, and puts his hands on his hips. "It's okay, I understand. You've been going through a lot with Gwen.. But you shouldn't push me out. You're my best friend, man, and I like to think you feel the same way about me.."

"Harry.." Peter sighs. He hadn't meant to ignore him, he just hadn't felt like being social. "I didn't mean.."

"I know. Like I said, I get it man, you're dealing with a lot. It's just- you don't have to deal with it alone." Harry says, half smiling at Peter.

"I'm sorry." Peter apologizes. Harry snaps back to his cheerful self at that and pats him on the back.

"It's okay.." He starts as the walk towards the eating center. "Now here's how you're going to make it up to me.. Do you remember Mary Jane from high school?" Peter nods remembering the ginger, and tries to pay attention to what Harry says, he really does. "Are you listening to me Peter?"

"Honestly? No." Peter shrugs.

"Well listen, she's throwing a party tonight and we're going."

"You can go, I'm going to see Gwen. Besides, I thought she moved to California or somewhere?"

"She did and now she's back." Harry says pausing. "Please Peter, I really liked MJ in high school, you know that. I'm way hotter now, and actually stand a chance."

"I'm going to see Gwen." Peter stands his ground.

"Peter you're 19 years old, you should go out." Harry says opening the door to the food center. "I just don't think you should lock yourself away like that. You know Gwen wouldn't want you to." Peter doesn't disagree, because he knows Harry is right. Gwen wouldn't want Peter to lock himself away with her, or push Harry out.

"I know." He mumbles.

"So come tonight!"

"Okay, but if I don't like it I'm leaving."

"Deal!"

..

..

..

Peter still visits Gwen after school. He asks a nurse if anyone had been by today, like he does every day, and she says no, like she does every day.. He has a hard time why understanding the Stacy's aren't around much anymore. He wonders how they don't feel the need to be with her constantly, or to be there so she doesn't wake up alone. Peter stays for less time than he would like to, but still more than he should. Peter rushes to Aunt May's and cleans up for the party with barely any time to spare.

He rushes to Harry's apartment, which is way too big for just one person, but realizes he didn't need to. Harry is taking his time picking out the perfect outfit, and fixing his hair. They do leave eventually and the party's exactly what Peter imagined it would be: drunk kids from his high school he didn't want to see then, and he still doesn't want to see. Peter decides to grab a beer and sit on the empty sofa. Harry sits next to him. "Try being social." He whispers. "You look like-"

"Harry Osborn!" A female voice interrupts him. Both of the boys turn towards the voice to see a young redhead with a smirk on her face. "And Peter Parker. Long time, no see."

"Hey, Mary Jane." Harry says smiling. Mary Jane comes around the couch to hug Harry.

"Wow, I hated high school, but now I miss everyone!" She says laughing. "Even you Parker!"

"It's been a while Mary Jane, it's good to see you." Peter says trying to sound polite. The truth is, Peter didn't miss MJ at all. They had a few classes together, but never really spoke.

"It's really good to see you too." Peter sits back again, thankful she didn't hug him like she did Harry.

"So what brings you back?" Harry asks.

"I missed the city lights, Broadway, the people. I missed everything." She says. "West coast is bullshit." The sound of breaking glass stops their short conversation. "I'll be back in a minute." MJ scurries off to the kitchen.

"She's so hot." Harry smiles at Peter, who would choose Gwen any day. A few people take notice to Peter being out in public again. It takes three people, who he has never seen in his life, telling him to call if he needs anything before Peter starts to feel really uncomfortable. Harry has a few girls sitting by him and they all seem to be having a good time.

"I'm heading out." Peter says, leaning in towards Harry. "Have fun."

"Why are you leaving Peter?" Harry asks turning towards him. "Come on, we're having fun, aren't we?"

"I thought it would be okay, but it's too much."

"Alright, if you must." Harry looks a little disappointed. "Thanks for coming tonight Peter." Peter nods, he would like to say 'thanks for bringing me,' but he isn't thankful. He grabs his coat from a small table that others were piled on.

"Leaving so soon?" He hears the somewhat familiar voice of Mary Jane Watson ask him while she approaches.

"Yeah."

"Awe, bummer." She says, genuinely disappointed. "Well it was good seeing you!"

"It was good seeing you too." He lies.

"Not a party person?" She steps forward.

"Yeah, this isn't my scene." He shrugs, wanting to avoid conversation.

"Well, maybe it could be someday." She says walking closer to him. He's against the wall now, and she places a hand on the wall above his shoulder.

"Uh.. Mary Jane.."

"Face it tiger." She says smiling at him. "You just hit the jackpot."

"See MJ, the thing it.. I have a girlfriend so.." At that she immediately drops her hand.

"That's unfortunate." She places a hand on his chin. "But I wasn't thinking of something so permanent."

"Well, I'm kind of in something permanent." He says sliding around her.

"I think you should get my number, so you can call me when you get bored." MJ says holding out her hand for his phone. Peter's not bothered so he hnds it over, hoping it will make leaving quicker.

"Sure." Peter says. He takes the phone from Mary Jane and turns the doorknob.

"What's your girlfriends name?" Mary Jane asks following him into the hallway.

"Uh.. Gwen."

"Why isn't she with you? You're just kind of asking for pretty girls to flirt with you."

"She," Peter says thinking of another lie to tell. He just doesn't want everyone to know his business. He doesn't know how people will react when they find out his girlfriend is in a coma, and he really doesn't want to find out. "She was busy."

"Oh I'm sorry." Mary Jane says, but doesn't sound very sorry d at all. Peter continues to walk to the stairs, but she still follows. "If you're really leaving we could still go do something."

"No thanks." He says opening the door to the street.

"Look Peter, I get it, you have a girlfriend." She says stepping outside. "I don't mean to sound crazy, I just can't believe I never noticed you in high school." He smiles and nods his head. "And now I see you, and you're perfect." Peter waves a little and tries to leave again. "I keep thinking to myself 'that's not my lab partner from sophomore year,' but it is."

"Mary Jane, you're a lovely girl, you really are," Peter says turning towards her. "but I have a girlfriend, and-"

"I know you've told me 12 times already. I just thought you should know I really regret not trying to be with you in high school." She shrugs.

Peter nods again and continues walking, this time Mary Jane doesn't follow. He walks towards ESU's campus, deciding to sleep on the couch and Gwen and his apartment. He can't help but wonder what kind of game Mary Jane is playing at. He barely remembers her from high school, she transferred from Midtown her junior year so she could take more theater classes. He especially wonders why she chose to talk to him, when there are plenty of guys willing to talk to Mary Jane Watson.


	4. The Lights

When Gwen wakes up Peter is grocery shopping with Aunt May and receives a very excited phone call from Howard. Aunt May looks at him and tells him to go. In Gwen's room her mother sits by her bed, but Peter has to stay in the waiting room. Howard explains to Peter that Gwen is still on morphine and can't register much of anything anyways. The doctor is slowly pulling her off of pain medication because they need to give her time to realize her can't move from the waist down. Even though it's not ideal, Peter thanks whoever is in charge of the universe that Gwen isn't from the neck down. Howard tells him that the doctor thinks with enough therapy Gwen may walk again, but it will take time.

Peter can't be with Gwen when she wakes up completely. He assumes by the way Ms. Stacy walks out of her room, shoulders slumped and eyes red, that it wasn't good. Helen whispers a soft 'she wants to see you.' to Peter and he walks to her room. Peter walks to Gwen's room slowly. He's scared to see Gwen. Scared to find out if she's angry with him for doing such a horrible job of saving her. When Peter walks into the room he wants to turn away. He hates himself for wanting to leave, but it hurts so much to see Gwen fight with the restraints they used to tie her hands to the side of the bed. She's crying and yelling in incomplete sentences. "Peter." She says, eyes hopeful.

"Gwen." He says smiling. Gwen stops yanking her arms and settles into her bed. She whispers another 'Peter' and he comes to sit next to her on the bad. "I'm so glad to see you. Gwen looks deep in thought, searching for the words to say. She can't think of anything other than 'you too.'

Gwen looks confused and turns to Peter. "Pete.. Help.." She says shaking her wrists through the restraints. Peter starts to untie one of her wrists from the side of her bed when a nurse grabs his hands.

"You can't do that. She keeps trying to take out her IV's." A nurse informs him. When Peter pulls away from the restraints Gwen starts crying again. Peter holds her hand instead, and tries to help her stay calm. He had read enough on the internet to understand that she must be so scared right now.

"Pete ask.. How til not medi-medica-medicated? I can't feel my legs." Peter feels like he can't hold it together. Gwen is medicated, but that's not why she couldn't move her legs. He didn't know how anyone could break it to her that she couldn't walk. How anyone could break Gwen like that?

"Gwen, do you want to see your brothers?" He say, running his fingers through her hair. Gwen tries to shake her head, but because of the brace she has placed around her neck can't. Peter knows Gwen's brothers are aching to see her, but he tries to see it from her point of view. When Captain Stacy passed away, she took the place of responsible adult. He had to imagine she wouldn't want them to see her like this, medicated, unable to move, fragile.

Peter thinks about turning the tv on, but instead looks out the window trying to find whatever it is that Gwen is continuously staring at. When she falls asleep he sends her mother back in. Peter is curious about what happened while Gwen woke up. He wants to ask, but instead offers to take the boys home. It's 8'oclock on a school night, and even though her doubts they'll go to school after Gwen waking up, they have to be tired. Ms. Stacy thanks him and him her keys. Peter walks the boys home carefully. Without Spiderman thugs have gone crazy.

Someday's Peter wants to put on his suit and save people, but he can't do it. Spiderman betrayed him, his webbing betrayed him. If it wasn't for Spiderman Gwen would be fine. The Green Goblin hadn't tried to fight him again. Maybe it's possible he was ashamed to fight Spiderman. If Spiderman was capable of killing his girlfriend, what would he do to the villains? But what really scared Peter was that someone knew who he was.

After a lot of struggle, Peter manages to get the younger Stacy's to bed. He sits in the living room watching reruns of Friends, waiting on sleep to hit him. "How is she Pete?" Peter sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"You should be in bed."

"I'm only four years younger than you, don't treat me like I'm stupid." Howard says. He stands up and walks towards his room.

"She doesn't want you to see her like that. It's not that she doesn't want to see you." Peter says, and Howard turns around. "It's not good Howard, honestly. She can't talk well, she's confused.." He trails off. Howard looks like he's going to respond, but is interrupted by the youngest Stacy padding into the room.

"I can't sleep." Simon looks like he'd been asleep, but Howard places an arm around the four year old's shoulder and takes him to the couch. Peter pulls the through blanket from the back of the couch down, and slides it over the brothers. Howard reaches for the remote and changes the television to some silly children's show. Peter stands up, moving towards the dvd stand. He finds the Stacy's copy of 'Finding Nemo,' because if he's going to watch something for children it better good.

The movie's barley on when Phillip leaves his room to go to the bathroom and hears Simon's laughter. "Seriously guys, you're having a slumber party without me?"

At some point, all four boys fall asleep. Peter wakes up early the next morning to the dvd's main menu replaying a replaying. He slides off of the couch and makes his way to the kitchen. He's trying to navigate his way around the unfamiliar kitchen to find breakfast food when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out to see it's Ms. Stacy. "Hello."

"Peter, how are the boys?"

"Asleep." He says opening and shutting cabinets.

"Oh, that's good." She says, sighing with relief.

"How's Gwen?" Peter asks.

"She's asleep. Alright I guess." Peter says goodbye and ends the phone. He keeps looking for food and finally finds pancake mix.

"Pete, do you need any help with anything?" Howard asks walking in, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah- where's a griddle?" Peter and Howard make breakfast and set the table. The younger Stacy's wake up after smelling pancakes and bacon, and sit at the table. As Peter suspected, none of them go to school, but instead demand to be take to the hospital.


End file.
